Three Scary Thoughts

Maybe because it is Halloween, I found myself with three scary thoughts about this matter of climbing the Fourth Butte, Old Age:

First, after four games of racquetball this morning, it occurred to me, not for the first time, that we only get as far in life as our joints take us. I am blessed with joints that work! My knees are fine, my hips and elbows and shoulders all work well enough, without complaint. (Well, one shoulder nags a little, but only enough to let me know that I'm alive.) But I am aware of the ills that flesh is heir to, and if not the flesh itself, then the things of the flesh that keep us connected, and prevent our simply falling down. So this AM, I gave thanks for my joints! But its scary to think how fragile we are physically. We need good joints to climb the Fourth Butte!

Second, there was an article in the paper the other day that noted that the suicide rates were up in our country. Evidently, they have been steadily rising for nearly a decade. And "the most alarming increase" has been among "middle age" adults-- 16%. It turns out that people aged 40-64 are at much higher risk for suicide than previously thought. This was especially true for "whites" in that age group: 16% for men, 19% for women. No one quoted in the article seemed to know why. They speculated about "stresses of modern life" and incidences of depression. But maybe at the very least we can take from such information the implication that this transition, from Middle Age, off the Third Butte, and then across the valley and climbing up the Fourth Butte, is a fairly hazardous transition for more people to make. It's scary to think how fragile we are psychologically. We need to find resources in ourselves to make it to the top of the Fourth Butte. (Where, according to the article, suicide rates for people over 65 have remained relatively unchanged for some time, after declining 18% from 1986 to 1999.)

Third, it occurred to me that the way we get off the Fourth Butte is by dying... Maybe that means being "lifted up," or maybe that means climbing down and heading across yet another valley-- I don't know. But I do think, from having observed folks who were dying for ten years or more, that a whole lot happens on the Fourth Butte! I have seen people flourish as the end of their lives grew near. And I have seen people become discouraged, weighed down by disappointment, and despairing of a sense of purpose. One challenge of the Fourth Butte, it seems to me, after we have made it to the top, is to continue to discover a sense of meaning to one's living. Why am I here? becomes Why am I still here? It is scary to think how fragile we are spiritually. We need to be spiritually aware and vital if we are to be able to scan the horizons of the Fourth Butte, and appreciate what we are seeing.

And seeing as this is Halloween, I don't know that I have three antidotes to these scary thoughts! Maybe its enough to be frightened at the moment! BOO!